The gross must pass through fire; let the
fine be tried in intellect, and the
lofty chosen ones in the highest;
– 220,1:50
The gross of Malkuth must pass through the fire of Qesheth so that consciousness can achieve Yesod, the entry into the Ruach. Here, in the third triad known as the Order of the Golden Dawn, consciousness is refined. The fine is then tried in Tiphareth, the centre of the Ruach, or mind, and the adept enters the Order of the Rosy Cross, the R.R. et A.C., where the first task is to achieve the Knowledge and Conversation of the Holy Guardian Angel. This is a trial of much more than intellect, in the common sense of the word, but, because the objective awareness of the Angel is appreciated by the mind, it is of the Ruach.
The Neophyte must be tested in the purity of his Will, his devotion to the order. He must be taught the essence of Qabalah, and commit
to memory all its most basic elements. He shall have a copy of Liber Al and other Holy Books. He shall devote himself to the service of his Master. If this be not aright, if the will of the Fool lies elsewhere, he must be cast away from the communion of saints.
– 718,2:19
Consciousness, which is gross in avidya (Malkuth), is refined through the practices taught in the Golden Dawn. However, getting up the motivation to pursue these difficult disciplines is a function of the Ordeal X. The direction of the sexual libido usually remains only semi-conscious and largely in the realm of dreams, the unconscious. We need some pretty strong motivation to bring our sexuality to waking consciousness, as it is in the Zelator. This motivation is provided by the vampire who tests the purity of the Neophyte’s will. At this time there are very few Masters of the Temple available to guide Neophytes through this perilous passage. A high degree of personal integrity and self awareness will have to substitute for the Master’s comprehensive understanding.
the vampire
The main problem addressed by the Ordeal X is that the True Will remains unconscious and unavailable to the waking consciousness of the incarnation. We may be aware of it but unable to distinguish it from the complexity of everyday life. It must be isolated like a particular muscle group is isolated with a specific body-building exercise. The spiritual exercise for the Ordeal X is the vampire.
Of course, this vampire does not drink blood except in the sense that blood represents the energy of life. It is the life energy which is bled, and it is taken directly through sex or through something closely related to the sex drive. It does not usually lead to the untimely physical death of the victim. As it is part of the ordeal, it is necessitated by the victim. The vampire surely never thinks of his- or herself as a blood sucking monster. And, indeed, he or she may well be playing the part of victim in another passage of life, or a couple may play vampire and victim for each other at the same time. The dynamic described here applies regardless of gender identity or sexual orientation. The vampire may not manifest as a sexual partner or another human being but instead as another object of obsession, such as an idea, a fantasy, a prejudicial way of thinking, dogma or superstition, addiction to a substance or an emotional state. The vampire manifests a restriction which frustrates the True Will of the victim with uncanny accuracy.
Male sexual energy is projective and thus, generally speaking, creative and destructive. Female sexual energy expresses the power of manifestation, calling the world into existence. It must be noted that all people of whatever gender identity express both male and female sexual energies. The Initiation of the King unhinges restrictions to thought and deed inherited from authority figures in family and society. The liberated energy, formerly kept in check, is then free to create new realities. If the newly liberated energy is not consciously directed, it will create realities in accord with unconscious restrictions. Whether we call these unconscious restriction demons or neuroses, the results are the same. In this way, vampires—demonic or neurotic depending on your terms of reference—arise to play the role unconsciously assigned by the victim. The victim is then forced to become consciously aware of the unconscious restrictions in order to resolve them. “The Great Work therefore consists in the solution of complexes.”
The vampire is not a true representative of Nuit or Hadit, but a convincing fake. Even if the physical aspect of sexual relations with the vampire is exciting, the spiritual aspect is sterile. It is not unusual for the victim to believe, at first, they have found the perfect mate. Yet what they have found is obsession with a separate individual person rather than love of a fitting representative of the primal goddess or god. For the male, the projective-creative energy is deflected as if by a shield, rather than embraced with love and deep desire. For the female, there is no sense of being fulfilled with brilliant solar energy, rather there is the sense of being abused and discarded.
We learn that we must seek a mate with our eyes of light, for how else could we spy the bright beautiful aura of our heart’s desire? The vampire may be physically attractive, but its aura is dark and chaotic. Magick with the vampire still works, but what is being created and what is being called forth is ultimately ugly and repulsive.
The Neophyte is blind. He or she cannot rely on the eyes of light to see behind the mask or to correctly interpret what is seen. The Zelator begins to see, really see. The Zelator is an adept. Thus the Ordeal X is a blind ordeal. We must learn to see with our eyes of light to survive the ordeal. If we fail, we fall into despair which is soon muffled with a cloak of ignorance and forgetfulness as we are cast away from the communion of saints.
The Ordeal X is a very painful process for one must seemingly restrict one’s own sexuality to withdraw from the life-draining influence. The addiction to the vampire is powerful and cutting it off is a life or death struggle. That life is one’s own; that death is the loss of hope.
Actually, the task is to redirect rather than restrict the sexual expression. Love is directed by will. That is to say, love under will. “The one great technique of practical Magick” is not learned at Yesod but at Tiphereth. Yesod, however, is the foundation, the initial entry to the whole system of Thelemic magick. The price of admission is the whole world of the aspirant. “For one kiss
wilt thou then be willing to give all; but whoso gives one particle of dust shall lose all in that hour.” – 220,1:61.
In this way, we are forced by our own behaviour to consciously choose what to evoke and what to invoke into our world. We focus our projection on Nuit or we invoke Hadit into our secret temple, but we can’t do it directly. We must create symbols to worship. For Nuit, the five pointed star with a circle of red, and for Hadit, the unicursal hexagram, are good, but we must make them our own. Whatever symbols we make, we must be able to hold them in our mind and body firmly enough to channel our sexual energy through them.
Every ordeal has its vampire. In the Ordeal X, one feels betrayed by one’s sexual partner (whether real or imaginary). In the Ordeal R, one feels betrayed by one’s friends, colleagues or business partners. In the Ordeal B, one feels betrayed by the entire universe. In the Ordeal A, one feels betrayed by one’s Holy Guardian Angel. In all cases it is we who betray ourselves, we who must isolate the offending behaviour and we who gain from causing the psychic energy to flow efficiently between our Eternal Selves and our lives in the world.
To survive the vampire in the nephesh (Yesod), we must train ourselves to direct our sexual desires on our own symbols of primal gods. Liber Al, meditation, qabalah and ritual magic are life-savers to the initiate drowning in despair. Whatever rationale we need to tell ourselves will do, so long as the practices get done, the mind and body are disciplined for survival and the attachments to the vampire are broken.
saturn
